


Long Distance

by Talullah



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 06:04:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2180757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talullah/pseuds/Talullah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone's not telling the whole story... until they do. A series of phone conversations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Distance

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was not betaed!
> 
> Written for spnflashfic's challenge 'Things Not Said'.
> 
> [Disclaimer/Blanket Statement](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Talullah/profile)

Jeffrey hurried from his bedroom into the living room where he had left the phone but by the time he found it under a pillow, it was too late. He checked the missing calls and saw 'Dean'. He snorted and hit 'dial'.

Jensen answered. "Hello, Deceased Guy! Took you long enough to come back from the dead."

Jeffrey laughed and dropped to the couch, making himself comfortable. "Don't get all smug just because your characters tend to be alive." They had been having variations on that exchange for a while now, and while it was not new, it was still funny in a way. Sometimes Jeffrey teased Jensen for always being surrounded by supernatural events in his career, sometimes Jensen called him 'late bloomer' referring to the late take-off of his career in a way that was, for a change, not in the least offensive or demeaning. He invariably called Jensen 'Shorty', much to his amusement and Jensen's annoyance.

"So, how has it going, Shorty?" he asked, hearing the prompt huff from the other side.

"Just by one inch, for which I amply compensate in other places," Jensen replied. "It's fine. Fourth season is being a lot of fun so far. God, I love being alive." He laughed self-derisively.

"Good to know. How's the gang?" Jeffrey asked, adding right after, in a way he hopped was spontaneous enough, "And what's this I hear about you and Jared living together?"

Jensen snorted. "Reading the fansites again, huh? Just something that came out all wrong in an interview..."

"Ah." Jeffrey paused. Something inside him was just too glad at that. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, of course I'm reading the fansites – you princesses won't call me to tell me anything!"

"Hey, man, it's been crazy around here. You know how it is."

"Yeah, I know. I'm up to my eyeballs in work, too. I mean, thank god, I'm certainly not complaining – the movies and Watchmen were just so much fun and it's like _work_ but I'm ready for a break."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Hey, why don't you come over for the weekend? You can bring Mary-Louise – I promise I'll be good and walk around the house in more than boxers."

Jensen's enthusiasm almost dragged a laugh out of Jeffrey despite the immediate weight Mary-Louise's name brought to his heart.

"Humm," he started. The words fled and there was an awkward silence.

"Man, you okay?" he heard Jensen asking. "Something wrong with you and Mary-Louise?"

"Yeah, well nothing wrong but we broke up again. This time for good."

"Oh. Wow. I... Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. We're both grown-ups and it wasn't ugly. Which doesn't mean that I don't feel anything, you know?"

"Mmm, yeah. Like Danneel and I."

"Yeah, like that." The conversation had taken such a sharp turn to serious that Jeffrey felt the need to lighten it up.

"Man, we broke up in April. Do you even know what month it is now? _You_ should be reading the fansites – not that I have nearly as many as you and Jared do."

Jensen snorted. "I'm gorgeous, of course I have more fansites. But, humm, yeah, I should have known that sooner. God, I'm embarrassed. Oh, wait a minute! We talked in August, right before we started shooting season four. You didn't say anything. And you never returned my other calls, you dog."

"You didn't ask."

"C'mon, man, I always ask how you're doing and you know it's not just being polite."

Jeffrey sighed. "Yeah, you do... look, I just wasn't feeling like talking about it and whatever. It's done now."

"So there's no chance of you guys getting back together?"

"I don't know..." Jeffrey winced at the sound of his own reluctance.

"What the fuck, man... You loved Mary-Louise – you were like the perfect couple. Are you not telling me something?"

Jeffrey closed his eyes and sighed. "Yeah, actually, but it's none of your nosy business."

"You cheated on her? She caught you, was that it?"

"No. Seriously, it was the wrong time in both our lives."

"But you just said that... What? I'm not getting it."

"I told you, none of your business."

Jensen paused for a very long while. Jeffrey could almost hear his brain wheels turning through the long distance call. There was some bustling around in the background, a TV or radio was turned off and a beer opened. At last Jensen decided to reply. "Okay, man," he said. There was another pause and Jeffrey heard what sounded like a long slurp of beer. "You have the right to your privacy, I get that. Sorry if I was too pushy. Anyway, that wasn't why I was calling."

"What was it, then?" Jeffrey asked.

"Jared's having this crazy party for the crew and we wanted to be here. It will be next weekend. Do you think you could make it?"

Jeffrey reached to the coffee table and fetched his calendar, which he liked to think of as stylishly old-fashioned but Jensen insisted it was an obsolete relic in the age of Blackberries.

"Yeah... well, I have a charity thing on Friday late afternoon... wait a minute." He pulled up his laptop, waited for it to start, and went searching for flights to Vancouver.

"I don't want to go on Saturday morning. I'd rather get there sooner than later," he mumbled to the phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder as he hurriedly typed and clicked.

"Humm, yeah, there's something here... but it arrives at almost midnight."

"No problem," Jensen jumped in.

"Nah, I know you boys are used to getting up early – you need your beauty sleep."

"I'd rather have you here."

Jeffrey almost dropped the phone. He took a deep breath and forced himself to come to his senses. Going to Vancouver would only well up feelings he'd rather keep in the depths of him. Hell, a simple phone call was doing a good job at that. "Listen, Jensen, I really don't want to blow the charity thing as it's for a good cause and I don't want to go up there to have everybody running around because of me."

"Wow, man, that was harsh. Why wouldn't you wanna come?" Jensen managed to sound truly hurt even through the distance, firing up Jeffrey's guilt.

"Man, it's not like that. I want to come. It's just that..."

"Are you short for money? I can lend you?"

Jeffrey laughed. "Jeez, no, I've plenty, thanks."

"Then stop being such a douche bag and come over already. One weekend is not going to kill you. Don't worry about me; I'll take a nap before picking you up at the airport."

Jeffrey shook his head, clicked 'book' on his browser and said, "Alright, I'll email you the flight number and time of arrival. Jared may make the hurt puppy face but you sure has hell got the whining down to a point."

"I know I'm irresistible." Jeffrey could almost _hear_ Jensen's grin. "Oh, speaking of which, don't you dare leaving Bisou home!"

"All right, I won't."

"So see ya!"

"See ya."

* * *

"Jeff?"

Jeffrey winced. He had only picked up the call because it was Jared's cell number on the screen.

"Jensen?" he asked, hoping to hear something like, 'no, you asshole'.

"Yeah, it's Jensen. Man, I need to talk to you about last weekend."

"Yeah, okay, Jensen, but I'm in a rush right now. Can I call you back?"

A long pause preceded a weary, "Yeah, okay. But do call, you hear me?"

"Don't worry, I will."

Jeffrey shut the phone and put the TV back on. Bisou had lifter her ears during the conversation and now whined a little and cuddled closer to him despite her slightly reproaching eyes. Jeffrey chastised himself for the silly thought: Bisou was an outstanding dog, smart as they came, but no way she was that smart. He took the remote and flipped over until he found Dark Angel re-running.

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey."

Jeffrey cringed at the coldness in Jensen's reply. After two and half months without calling, he knew he deserved it.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Pretty good."

"You aren't going to make this easy on me, are you?"

"Nope."

"Listen, I'm sorry I never called back."

"Yeah, whatever."

When the pause threaded to be overwhelmingly awkward, Jensen spoke. "I don't get it, man. Did we do anything to you? Did _I_ do anything to you? Because I know that you've been speaking to Jared now and then. Why don't you just tell me whatever it is?"

"It's complicated." Jeffrey absently scratched Bisou's ears, trying to figure out how he go on from there. "I had a really good time last time I was up there with you guys."

"Could have fooled me."

Jeffrey sighed. "I did. It's just that..." He stopped himself, aware that 'it's just that' seemed to be a too integral part of his speech to Jensen, lately.

"All right, I know I was a bit awkward, but it wasn't anything that you did." Right, that was plain wrong. Jensen hugging him and patting his back and goofing around had definitely been part of his discomfort.

"Glad to know that, Asshole," Jensen said, a little too irked to be funny, but at least giving Jeffrey more than coldness.

Jeffrey smiled. "Hey, don't talk to your Daddy like that!"

A faint snort came from the other side. "Speaking of which, Eric was saying something of bringing you back in for an episode or two. Did he say anything to you?"

"He did. We're trying to find a way to fit my schedule."

"Oh really, and you were gonna tell me when?"

"I'm calling you, right? We've only spoken two days ago."

"Oh, okay. Are you okay with it? Like, are you gonna turn all weird on us again?"

Jeffrey snorted. "I hope not. I'll try not to. Sorry about that."

"Man, we were worried about you."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry. I was being a fucking schoolgirl."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing."

There was a pause but Jensen didn't let it drag out too long. "Fine you don't wanna talk, then don't. Let me know if you and Eric manage to arrange something."

"I will."

"'Kay, see ya... Jerk."

Jeffrey smiled. "See ya, Asshole."

* * *

"Hey, Jeff!"

"Hi there, stranger."

"Eric told me you'll come up here in December. Were you even gonna tell us?"

Jeffrey laughed. "Keep your pants on, will ya? I was on the phone with him this morning. I was going to call you as soon as I got home. I'm driving."

"Oh, okay. Do you want to hang up and we'll catch on later?"

"No, it's fine." Unwittingly, Jeffrey yawned.

"Whoa, man, it's like seven pm," Jensen immediately quipped from the other side of the line.

"Humm, yeah, but I've been feeling a little tired. I'll probably turn in early tonight."

"Found someone to keep you busy at night, you horn dog?" Jensen leered.

Jeffrey laughed. "I wish! What about you, seeing someone?" he added, quickly changing the subject to Jensen.

"Lord knows I've no lack of offers from fangirls but that's like taking candy from a kid, you know?"

Jeffrey laughed. "Oh, man, your sense of decency astounds me. Give the poor fangirls a break – they'd love you eternally for it..."

"Mm, nah. I don't think so. Oh, speaking of which, I have a fanboy too!"

Jeffrey's heart raced just a little bit. He almost missed a STOP sign he passed by every day. "Oh really? And who is he?"

"Jealous?" Jensen taunted. "You can't have them all to your butch self, you know. It's a new PA we have on set. He's a nice guy but not my type."

"Yeah, what with being a guy and all..." Jeffrey wasn't really into self-torture, but sometimes he enjoyed a little pain.

Jensen's reply surprised him, however. After cleared his throat and making a vaguely embarrassed sound, he audibly exhaled. "Being a guy isn't that much of an objection, if you really want to know."

Jeffrey saw the crosswalk and the mother with the baby at the last minute. He hit the brakes so hard that the seat belt carved a trench in his chest.

"What the fuck?!!"

"Jeez, man," Jensen said, sounding hurt. "I wasn't expecting that from you."

"No, no," Jeffrey protested, trying to gain his breath back and raising his hands in an apology to the young mother. "I almost ran over someone," he said when the woman finished crossing the street. "Jesus, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

Jensen snorted. "Happens to old people. That and slow reflexes."

"Haha, too funny," Jeffrey replied in his driest tone. "You're only twelve years away from old age, mind you."

"That's a small eternity. Humm, Jared's calling me back to the set. Call me later, okay?"

"Sure."

Jeffrey drove the rest of the way home paying maximum attention to every sign, every crosswalk. Anything to keep him from thinking on what Jensen had just said.

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey, Shorty," Jeffrey happily greeted. Despite his earlier fatigue, he had gone out with Bisou for a run around the neighborhood and two hours later, he still felt the energy buzz working though him. He had done the laundry and was cooking dinner when Jensen called.

"So, you feeling better now?" Jensen asked.

"I wasn't feeling bad... I was just distracted."

"Humm, whatever. Anyway, I just wanted to know if we're fine."

"Of course we are," Jeffrey replied. "What you do and with whom is none of my business. The only thing I can tell you, you already know – keep it quiet if you want to stay in business."

"Yeah, Dad, I know," Jensen teased.

"Jensen?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing."

"Aw, c'mon, man, don't start being all awkward on me. If it makes you happy, I've never actually tried anything serious in that direction. Just a few experiences – all very discreet."

"Hang on." Jeffrey washed his hands and left his sauce in a low simmer. He picked the phone and turned off the loudspeaker. It was silly, but if Jensen was feeling like talking about personal stuff, he'd rather have his voice pressed against his ear, all to himself.

"Okay, I'm here," he said. "So tell me about this fanboy."

"Shit, man, it's nothing serious, at least on my part. The dude is like a schoolgirl when I'm around and I kind of feel sorry for him."

"Sorry, that's all? Because we've known each other for a long while and you've never said anything about liking guys. Now you do. I'm wondering if there's a particular reason."

"Jesus. No, not what you're thinking. Listen, I _really_ like girls but sometimes I find a guy attractive, just not this kid. I like manly men and he's kind of girly. So if I had to be unprofessional enough to mess with someone on the set, it wouldn't be him."

"Okay, I'm glad to hear that. You know what shit that kind of thing can stir up, even with girls. But that still doesn't answer my question – why tell me this now?" Jeffrey pressed.

"I don't know. I sort of burped it out. It's not like I announce it to everyone I've just met but we've been buddies for a while and I see no reason for you not to know that... Jared knows. He's cool with it too, as long as I don't make a pass at him, his words. Anyway, I wouldn't do that – the guy is like a brother to me and, well, I just don't feel like that, and besides you don't make passes at friends." Jensen paused. "C'mon, man, I'm here blabbering and you're not saying anything."

Jeffrey rubbed the lines forming between his eyebrows and tried to shake off the cold water bucket. "Jensen, I told you, it's fine by me. Doesn't change anything. You can talk with me about any guy crush you have s if it were a girl, or don't talk at all. I know you won't do anything stupid."

"I won't."

"Okay."

"Okay, then." Jensen exhaled deeply. "Hey, changing topics, where are you staying when you come up here? You know you can always stay at my place."

Jeffrey smiled bitterly. The prospect of limitless Jensen had lost some of its appeal somewhere between 'Jeff, I like guys' and 'Jeff, I don't do friends'. He eyed his sauce. It was probably time to hang up and return to his cooking before it was ruined. "I'm still not sure," he said. "I'll get back to you on that."

Jensen snorted. "Please don't tell me you're afraid to be alone with me."

Jeffrey pressed his lips. "Of course not; stop being paranoid." He knew he should have found some sarcastic comeback, made Jensen laugh somehow, but right now he just needed to hang up. "Jensen, I need to go – Bisou is whining about something."

"'Kay. See you soon, Asshole."

"See ya."

* * *

Jeffrey rolled his eyes at himself. He was kind of growing tired of his schoolgirl act. He was too old for that shit. He picked up the phone and dialed Jensen's number. After a few rings, the call went to voicemail. Jeffrey almost hung up, but he decided that it was time he acted like he had any balls.

"Hey, Jensen, sorry about today. I need to talk to you. In person. I know I've been acting like an asshole, but there's something I want to talk with you about and, humm... just call me okay, or pick up the phone, because I'm pretty sure you're there."

Jeffrey meant to say more but a beep cut him off. He had no idea why or how he had managed to speak so slowly to say only that.

* * *

"Jensen, I know it's past midnight, but I've been calling all evening and you're still not picking up. I know I was an asshole, but it's not for the reason you think. I swear. Just talk to me."

* * *

"Jensen?" Jeffrey asked groggily, checking the alarm clock on his bedside table. Two am. "Thank god, just-"

"I don't even know why I'm calling," Jensen cut Jeffrey off. "You were so cool on the phone about everything the last time we talked, but I knew something was off when you preferred to stay at a crappy hotel rather than at my place. Then this shit at Jared's? You shy back from a hug as if big ole homo here is gonna rape you right there and then, then you won't even look at me when we're speaking, won't accept a ride back? What the fuck is wrong with you, man? What kind of a douche bag friend are you, anyway?"

"Jensen, listen-"

"Don't even. I don't want to know."

"Jensen, I need to talk to you. You got it all wrong."

" _I_ got it all wrong? Fuck you, man."

"Okay, I deserved that. Can I meet you somewhere? I know we have to get up at the crack of dawn but this isn't something I can tell you over the phone. Please, man. I swear it's nothing like you're thinking."

"It's two fucking am? Where the fuck do you want to fucking meet?"

"Can I go to your place?"

Pause. "Okay. But this better be good."

* * *

"Don't hang up!" Jeffrey rushed out as soon as Jensen picked the call up.

"I wasn't going to."

"Good. Good. Thanks."

"For what?" Jensen asked, his tone so flat Jeffrey winced.

"For being so cool today, in the set, around me. I appreciate that you made the effort."

"It wasn't an effort... Asshole." Jensen's reluctant endearment came as a balm to Jeffrey.

"Sure? I hope so. I mean, it's not every day that a guy gets hit on the head with unrequited love from someone who was supposed to be only a friend, and I've been keeping secrets and acting like a fucking spineless schoolgirl instead of coming clear to you months ago like I should have."

"Jeff, we talked about all of this last night," Jensen replied. "I'm glad that your assholeness was not the lame shit I was thinking, but I just don't know what to tell you about the other thing. And don't call it 'love', man, not even as a joke. I can't wrap my head around that."

"Listen, I'm not asking or expecting anything from you. I probably would never have told you anything if you hadn't said that you like guys. Jesus, listen to me, I can't say something without making it sound bad. It's not like I suddenly started having hopes. I came clear to you because I thought that now you could understand why some things are hard on me, like you touching me all the time and never the way I'd like you too."

"I know..." Jensen said. "It was kind of a shock. I should have seen it, though. I don't know..." He sighed. "Jeffrey, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey."

Silence.

"Jensen," Jeffrey tried.

"Yeah, here."

"About..."

"Don't say anything. I just... Don't say it."

"'Kay."

Jeffrey reclined on his couch and scratched behind Bisou's ears. He heard Jensen gulping down something, probably a nice cold beer and he felt like having one too. That would imply leaving the couch, though, and that was way too much to do right now.

"I'm leaving after tomorrow," he said, tentatively.

"I know."

"I wasn't expecting that, today." He swallowed dry as the image of Jensen shoving his tongue down his throat behind his trailer hit him. Just as quick as he had kissed him, Jensen had pushed him back and left, wiping his mouth to his sleeve.

"I wasn't either." Jensen's breath sounded a tad heavier and for an instant Jeffrey imagined he could be touching himself but a heavy silence followed.

It threatened to stretch indefinitely until Bisou started whining. The old gal wanted her walk and she deserved it. Jeffrey hated the thought of ending the phone call, even as silent as it was. Torn, he rose from the couch and started searching for Bisou's leash.

"Hey, you're busy, I'll call later," Jensen said, hanging up before Jeffrey could say anything.

* * *

"Happy New Year!"

"Jensen, is that you?" The screen showed Jared's cell number but the drunken slur was unmistakably Jensen's. Jeffrey was at a party and his date was trying to kiss him and tease away the phone from his hand. He held on tight. This was the first contact he had with Jensen after his stay in Vancouver in December.

"Yep, me," came the faint reply. From the noise, Jeffrey imagined Jensen was also at a party, probably in Texas but who knew, really.

"Happy New Year," Jeffrey replied. Jensen hung up.

* * *

"Feeling better?" Jeffrey asked before any 'hellos' were exchanged.

"Huh?" Jensen sounded sleepy and confused, which made Jeffrey smile.

"I'm guessing you spent all of yesterday nursing the mother of all hangovers..."

Jensen snorted. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Do you want me to hang up?" Jeffrey was unsure if Jensen's call had been a real overture in the direction of _talking_ or just a drunken impulse.

"No, man," Jensen hurried, but then nothing followed.

"Are you in Texas?" Jeffrey asked, trying to break the silence with small talk, his least favorite kind of talk.

"Yeah. Crashing on Jared's couch – he wouldn't let me drive back to my folks’ yesterday."

Jeffrey snorted. "I bet. Is everything okay with you? Apart from the hangover, that is."

"Yeah. You?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

The silence stretched but just as Jeffrey was opening his mouth to say some sort of goodbye, Jensen spoke.

"Sorry I was an ass," he said.

"Hey, I'm glad I'm not the only one," Jeffrey promptly excused him, trying to lighten things with the self-derisive joke.

"You're damn right about that," Jensen retorted, a note of laughter hiding in his voice. "I was thinking maybe I could stop in LA for a couple of days before returning to the set."

"Need a place to stay?" Jeffrey carefully offered.

"Yeah. Are you offering?"

"Of course, you asshole. Do you need me to pick you up at the airport or anything?"

"Nah. I'm going to rent something. I need to see a few people. I arrive on Monday, by the way."

"Okay. If I'm not home by the time you get there, you know where the spare key is."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

"Hey."

Jeffrey held his breath at the sound of Jensen's voice. "Hey, yourself," he eventually replied, attributing his lightheadedness to the temporary lack of oxygen, nothing else.

"I don't know what to say," Jensen offered.

Jeffrey waited. He understood the sentiment, his own head full of things bursting to come out but none appropriate, either too little or too much. He couldn't stand for small talk right now, that was for sure.

"Are you there?" Jensen asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I wish you... Can you come up next weekend?"

Jensen's invitation was as sudden as unexpected and Jeffrey winced, very aware that no, he couldn't.

"I've a meeting I can't skip. My agent is trying to get me something. A dead man's role."

Jensen laughed. "That's good for you, go with it."

Jeffrey had to laugh too and the stalemate was broken. "I've most of next week free, though. It sucks what with you being on the set the whole day long, but I could go there, if you wanted," he offered.

"I don't care. I'll find a way of getting off early a couple of times, even if I have to break an arm or something. Just come."

Jeffrey grinned. "I will. I'll shoot you an email as soon as I have the flights down."

"Bring Bisou. I miss my feet warmer."

"I'm offended," Jeffrey quipped. "I thought I was doing a good job myself."

Jensen cackled. "Yeah, I don't recall you paying that much attention to my feet, but if you say so."

"I didn't know you had that fetish," Jeffrey leered.

"I don't... but I could be persuaded to develop it..."

"Is that a challenge?"

"You bet. And I've a few more things I'd like to talk with you about..."

Jeffrey laughed, Jensen laughed, then a soft silence fell on the line, one that felt like a bond linking them across the miles.

"I miss you already," Jeffrey said.

"You schoolgirl, you," Jensen teased. "I told you I liked butch guys and you're all sentimentality now... what am I gonna do with you?"

"I like being your fanboy."

"I like being yours."

"Call me tomorrow?"

"I will."

Jeffrey listened to Jensen’s soft breading for a few minutes more, then whispered a soft ‘nightie’ before hanging up.

 

_Finis  
September 2008_


End file.
